Dear Customer Helping Herself to Change,

Where on the cup next to my register do you see the words "give a penny, take a penny"? Where is it stated that whatever is in there is yours for the taking? NOWHERE. So next time keep your grubby little paws out of my cup, which most of the time holds paperclips and pens, but occasionally MY TIPS.

Some Germans came into Buffalo Wild Wings tonight! The server heard their accent and asked where they were from so then she came and reported the exciting news to me. So we went and sat in the next booth but it was kind of hard to hear, I thought about going over and telling them in German to please speak a little louder because we were trying to eavesdrop. But I ended up just asking them how their food was ("sehr gut", "lecker") and since they were German I wanted to make sure their beer needs didn't go unmet, so I asked the guy with the beer, which was still 90% full, if he would like another, while overlooking the guy who had drunk his coke dry. I'm sure they were talking about me as soon as I left and also making plans to lose their German accents asap so as not to suffer future conversations with stupid Americans who thought they could speak German, especially ones who think all Germans are alchoholics.

So this girl and I were talking about how annoying it is when people order up at the counter instead of with a server when they have a million special requests and on top of that, command you to make sure they get carried out, when shortly thereafter almost on cue, customer from hell walks in.

First he wants sauce on the side and no croutons on his salad, okay that's easy enough, but then comes the "very important" part. He wants his wings fried extra crispy and with no grease afterwards. I also need to make sure that after the wings are cooked they are drained for a couple minutes because if he gets his wings and there's a drop of grease he's not eating them and I'm going to give him his money back. Yeah, because not only do I have plenty of time to go back and explain to the kitchen his stupid special instructions the first time, I also have time to check back in the kitchen every thirty seconds to make sure that when his wings are done they are properly drained.

Then comes the drama with the grub club punch card, it is one punch per visit per person and it has to be over $5. He threw a fit when I told him he could only receive one punch. I explained the rules to him and that it had to be two separate orders anyways, which is clear on the card, it says "visit" not "one punch for every five dollars." Then you know what he wanted to do? Void out the entire order and ring it in again separately! Which still doesn't work anyways! Plus they keep track of how much we're voiding, voiding stuff, especially when it is completely unnecessary as in this case is bad.

So I get the manager to come over and I was proud that he didn't give in and give him a second undeserved punch. I hate it so much when managers reward assholes. Like if someone has a problem with something but they're cool about it, they don't get anything. But people who bitch the loudest and hardest get discounts on their meals and comp certificates thrown at them like candy just to get them to shut up and come back back again. Well anyways this guy also yells at the manager that his wings better be right. And all this while there is a guy behind him waiting to order, giving me sympathetic looks like, "is this guy for real?"

Once he gets his wings he yells at the other cashier that there better be no grease. He inspects them and apparently they weren't to his liking so he demanded to speak to the manager again. I didn't hear what was said, but he's getting bounced out next time he comes in so I'm guessing it didn't go so well.

This is the same guy who came in recently and got an attitude when I told him it was too late to order the lunch lineups and yelled that if he couldn't get one he was leaving. Whatever, don't let the door hit you on your way out. I don't take too kindly to customers who threaten that I'm not going to get their business if I don't let them have something they are 20 minutes late for. Yeah, your hostility and rudeness really gives me the urge to make a special exception for you...NOT.

This guy needs to go to Munich and order some fast food. This is a city where it is clearly not "have it your way". They freaked out at Burger King when I didn't want lettuce on my sandwich and getting only ketchup on my cheeseburger at McDonald's was clearly asking too much. I dare him to go in there with all his ridiculous demands, I wouldn't be surprised if they refused his order, kicked him out, and told him never to come back!